Day 13 A story about a past relationship.....

I have chosen to write about the relationship that has had the biggest impact on my life, and that would obviously be my 14 1/2 year marriage to Jarom.   I met Jarom when I was 13 years old and when you are that young you don't quite think straight.  Needless to say I was pregnant by 15 and had a baby and was married by 16.  It was rough.  I don't know that we ever saw eye to eye on anything.  Not the way we raised our kids to the way we treated each other.  We did have some wonderful times so don't get me wrong.  There were some awesome trips we were able to take, and of course I have three great boys that I love so dearly.  Jarom and I fought A LOT and it really took a toll on us.  He worked on Saturdays and he was in a profession that if he didn't work he didn't get paid.  So any family event that took place I would have to go without him and that was upsetting to him.  There were many events in our marriage that added up to the demise of our relationship, not all his fault.  I absolutely had a hand in some of them.  I think we had a love for each other but were never fully in love.  I have many regrets on some of the decisions I made and I can only hope that he does too.  The hardest thing to do was finally stick to my guns and leave.  It is a very scary situation to be comfortable and stable financially to being a single mom and having to make it on my own.  I am very grateful for the support I am able to receive from my family.  Especially my parents right now.  It was to the point that I felt worthless and nothing I said or did mattered.  I felt I could not express myself or even be myself because he could not understand how I could be happy all the time when he wasn't.  My divorce was final a week ago Monday and I do feel a large black cloud has been lifted off my shoulders.  I will always love him, but not the way he needs to be loved.  I truly wish nothing but the best for him and can only hope he treats his next relationship with more respect then what he gave to ours. 

I also know what I want out of a new relationship.  I have thought long and hard about this so if you find this person for me, send him my way.  Most of all I want to laugh.  I want to be able to talk about the most unimportant things and because it is us talking about it, it is important.  I want to joke and kid around and laugh at really silly things. He has to appreciate the fact that I have three kids and want to include them in everything.  He needs to accept my crazy family and know they are a HUGE part of my life.  He needs to enjoy asking me out for a special night, but know I am not that picky when it comes to spending time with the right person.  I love to just curl up in a blanket and watch a movie at home or maybe even a sporting event.  He needs to give me my girl time.  I wont ask for a lot, but I need it.  In return I would never deny him of boy time.  I think having mutual and separate friends in any relationship is important.  He needs to speak kindly to me.  I don't need to be treated like I am a child and scorned for not doing exactly what he tells me to do.  I am my own person.  I want someone who will just wrap his arms around me and thank me for the things I do.  I want to be treated as an equal and have him be willing to help me out when I feel I am drowning.  I want someone who loves the outdoors, because I don't mind getting dirty.  I want someone that I can't imagine my life without, someone who makes me a better person.  I hope this is not asking too much because if it is then I am up a poop creek!